Setting relationship goals or Our bucket list

 If you’ve read the earlier blog Food for Thought, this post continues the discussion on how I can help you set your relationship goals or inspire you to create your bucket list. Previously, we focused on financial goals, which play a crucial role in our lives by guiding us in budgeting, saving, and investing to secure our future. Now, let’s move on to Relationship Goals, which I believe should be the second most important priority on your list.

When setting relationship goals, our primary focus was on improving communication. I am someone who loves to talk, whereas my spouse is a man of few words. In the beginning, this gave me the impression that I wasn’t being heard. This led to conflicts, misunderstandings, and growing tension between us.

One day, we decided to sit down and address the issue maturely. We asked ourselves: Why are we always bickering? Why do we fail to understand each other's feelings, leading to arguments? That conversation became a turning point. We agreed to find a quiet, safe space where we wouldn’t be disturbed or distracted or judging each others emotion, allowing us to give each other our full, undivided attention during conversations.

Through this process, we developed the skill of active listening, which has become a crucial part of our communication and has significantly improved our relationship. We learned to listen attentively and, if something was unclear, we would ask for clarification to avoid misunderstandings. This allowed us to reach conclusions without making assumptions or expecting the other person to read our mind.

By doing so, we ensured that both of us felt heard and that our feelings were acknowledged and respected. We didn’t stop there; we continue to work on our communication to strengthen and deepen our bond. As I always say, it’s about taking baby steps.

My husband and I enjoy going on long drives and experimenting with new cuisines. After a long day at work, we love coming home, relaxing with a glass of wine, and watching Netflix or my favorite K-drama. If one of us is feeling down, needs to clear their mind, or seeks peace from family issues, we support each other by visiting places that bring comfort or indulging in comfort food to help ease stress.

We try our best to ensure that neither of us feels overwhelmed. To keep our connection strong, we plan date nights and spend quality time together, especially on weekends, during holidays, or when we’re able to take leave from work. Sometimes, we meet up with friends and enjoy time with them. Other times, we stay home and have movie nights, deciding on something we both want to watch. When we’re alone, we stick to our individual preferences—my husband loves action, thrillers, and historical films, while I enjoy romance, comedies, anime, K-dramas, thrillers, detective stories, and the occasional horror movie.

We make plans for date nights and prioritize spending quality time together. While we may not always succeed due to busy work schedules or unforeseen circumstances, we consistently make an effort to connect. Recognizing and appreciating the effort we both put into our relationship helps us respect each other more and strengthens our bond.This makes us want to celebrate and cherish our time together even more.

 Most of us experience conflicts with our spouse at some point, right? But how do we handle them in our relationship? Do we resort to yelling, using hurtful words, getting defensive, placing blame, or giving the silent treatment? Personally, I’ve been guilty of doing all of the above when I’m irritated, feel that my husband isn’t giving me the attention I need, or when I don’t agree with his advice.This can also happen to my husband when he is irritated as well. 

What steps have you taken to overcome these challenges? Or what steps have we taken to learn how to resolve conflicts respectfully?

When we have arguments or feel upset about something, we’ve learned that yelling and screaming won’t solve anything. Instead, we’ve decided to give each other some space to cool off, reflect on the situation, and then come back together to discuss how we can resolve our issues.

Screaming, shouting, yelling, or even resorting to physical actions will not bring us closer to a solution; it will only escalate the situation and lead to irrational decisions that benefit neither of us. It’s important not to speak when angry because, in the heat of the moment, we might say hurtful things we don’t truly mean.

Rather than focusing on winning an argument, we should aim to find a solution. Not every disagreement needs to be resolved immediately. Giving ourselves the time and space to calm our minds allows us to approach the situation more thoughtfully and work toward resolving it without carrying it forward unnecessarily.

The last point I’ve included in our relationship goals is being affectionate and apologetic. A simple touch, hug, kiss, or words of appreciation can brighten anyone’s day. We have a special tradition: every morning before leaving for work, I say a protection prayer for my husband and me, bless us both with holy oil, and then we kiss each other and say, “Go safely and come back safely.” This small ritual shows the effort we both make to strengthen our bond and deepen our love for each other.

Little gestures like this reflect the willingness of both partners to go the extra mile for the relationship. Even a simple text during the day saying “I love you” can bring so much joy. Receiving that heartfelt reply fills you with excitement and happiness that’s truly priceless.

When you make a mistake or lose your temper and shout at your spouse, saying “I’m sorry” immediately can have a profound impact on your relationship. Small acts of affection—like holding hands, a quick hug, a gentle peck on the cheek, or whispering “I love you”—can make your partner feel special and deeply loved.

More tips on creating or setting relationship goals coming your way . Stay tuned .